Black Women and Their Sh!tty End Of The Pop Culture Stick
Written by Psalm One.
This blog isn’t long enough to tackle the
question of Black self-loathing, and the White America that got us here, but I
am going to talk about why I think Black women get the shit end of the
Pop-Culture Stick.
Looking at this ashy morning skin of mine, I’m
guessin’ that back in the days of the civil rights movement, I could have
passed a paper bag test. In slave days, maybe I could have even been a house
nigger.
Thinking about this makes my stomach hurt a
little bit, and rightfully so. The color of your skin should not dictate
anything in the quality of your life. But it did, and it still does.
Damn.
Really light skinned folks are favored over
darker skinned folks and almost glorified in the Black community, and many
times it is attributed to not being fully “black” (whether it’s true or
untrue).
I grew up in an economically impoverished area of
Chicago, known as Englewood, so I’ve played this game before, and with my own
people.
At one point in my life, I was telling people I
was 1/4 Mexican. Now, there are Mexican folk in my family, who I see very
rarely, but my mother and father are both Black. So I’m black.
As far as the darker shades go, it has been my
experience that if your complexion is dark, and you’re unattractive, then
you’re “black”. Re-definition, I suppose. If you are attractive and darker,
then you’re something like “sexual chocolate”. Fucked up, right?
We all know how objectified women of all races
are, and in my community it is no different. I can’t name very many Black women
on TV/Internet that don’t make me cringe, and video “vixens” definitely don’t
count. They are honored because of their bodies, and that just reinforces the
objectification.
Yung Berg, a once-trendy rapper who had a few
decent songs, referred to women as “butts” and said he would never date “dark
butts”. Li’l Wayne, an always-trendy rapper who makes pretty bad ass songs, for
the most part, said recently that he’ll never date another black woman unless
she looks like something “else”. His first born daughter looks like him. I feel
sorry for her. I don’t care if she’s a millionaire, she’s gonna have the worst
self-esteem issues. We won’t even get into the caricature that is Nicki Minaj.
As a youngster, I battled weight. I wasn’t as
aware of the battle of skin color as I am now. One of the darkest skinned
people in my family is my very own Mother, and I think she’s beautiful. It
never occurred to me that her skin color might be looked upon as something
undesirable.
And then there’s the kinky hair issue. As a
younger lady I used to wear a ton of chemicals in my hair. I got my first
relaxer when I was 9 years old. Damn. That’s a lot of chemicals. Chemicals ruin
the natural strength of your hair, I don’t care what you say.
Why do Black women need light skin and straight
hair? That was a rhetorical question, but I will tell you one thing: In the
Media, “Nappy-Headed Hoes” are not getting the respect we deserve.
Now, I am not a hoe. I am not promiscuous, and
I certainly don’t walk the stroll and fuck for money. Don Imus called black
girls on a ball team Nappy-Headed Hoes. I am a Black girl who used to play basketball,
and I just yanked the last bit of death perm out of my hair. Possibly forever.
So I definitely fit the description.
But fuck all that. I am beautiful, with my
brown paper bag skin and my freshly nappy hair. My mom is beautiful, with her
darker skin and dreadlocks. My grandma is beautiful, with her silvery-white
permed hair and her pinkish hue. Back in the day, she even passed for white. I
believe our family even took pride in that. And now I’m gagging more. My mother
wore perms and color and all kinds of crap to make her hair look different, for
decades, and now her hair is almost down her ass, because she let it dread up
naturally. This, to me, is true strength in identity.
When you look at the majority of Black women in
the media, we are portrayed as either angry, with tons of attitude and no idea
of how to please a man, or just nasty freaks. Chicks with lighter features,
“good hair” and all that are what you see mostly in videos and movies and such,
if you see black women at all. And then there’s Oprah. But Oprah is an
exception to the rule, and I love her for it.
And yay for preferences. OchoCinco prefers
non-black women, so does Wesley Snipes, Kobe Bryant and a ton of other
successful (and unsuccessful) Black men. Whatever. Personally, I prefer Black
Men because I find that culturally it makes me feel beautiful and safe (but I
honestly don’t discriminate). I would never NOT date someone based on race or
skin color, because I find that to be moronic.
If I want you to come away with anything after
reading this, it’s that we need to understand what we’re up against when we
start speaking of people’s worth in terms of how they look, especially if they
are trying their hardest to be something they’re not. A White woman is not more
desirable than a Black woman *just because*, and a light-skinned Black woman is
not more desirable than a darker-skinned Black woman *just because*. My nappy hair feels just as sexy in your hands
as some limper, processed hair. All Black women are not full of bad attitudes,
nor do we all have fat asses and several kids.
Open
your eyes. This color shit is blinding
us more
